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Last Updated: Wed, 03 Dec 2008 22:23:00 GMT

Friday, 08 August 2008

Still playing catch up w/ the blog

Been bad posting if anyone is still listening. Life keeps changing. It'll be one way for a long time then change to something different and then again transform into something else. Not sure how I feel about the way it is now. It's better in some ways, worse in others.

Was in Bar Harbor for 2 long weeks and thought I would be glad to get back to Boston. But then I enter my apt. and see the mess I live in. Still haven't done a good deep cleaning of my place since moving in. It was supposed to be cleaned before I moved in but wasn't and even though it's only one room, it's hard to clean w/ stuff all over the place. Maybe I should just hire a maid. How much can it cost to clean a studio?

Got back to work though and started doing things, experiments. It's actually fun when I'm doing things, even though I make plenty of mistakes. I love the bacteria I work with. It can really be a great time doing my thing in the lab, most of the time I'm doing my own thing w/ little direction and feel like a mad scientist, especially since I'm working w/ human pathogenic stuff that can at least give you some pretty cool diarrhea or at worst kill you. I took it as a compliment today when at the department picnic I was asked if I contaminated the picnic. Haha! just don't get me fired for those insinuations. It would be a thrill though to have a major foodborne disease outbreak on your hands and have to find the culprit, testing all the food and stool samples, would have been a great episode of Scooby Doo or Encyclopedia Brown mystery.

Some of my experiments need lots of planning to get things right the first time so it takes me a long time to get things done. And I've spent several unproductive months so now I'm in a crunch w/ several projects going on at once. I also need to decide if I should take a class in the fall. I'm required by my program to take 4 grad level classes and I've already done that but I know my boss wants me to take more. In his mind, they're free so why not but to me it's just more work and not only am I already a doctor, I'm not getting any kind of degree for taking these extra classes, I'm not a PhD student, I'm a postdoc. I do feel a bit guilty though for not jumping at the opportunity.

So I think life is better right now when I'm getting work done. I just need to keep it up and hopefully have a couple great, productive months coming up to feel better about things.

My social life seems lacking compared to what it was the past year. Don't hang out w/ the girls as much as I used to. Things got all out of whack and never got back into our usual things. Makes me sad that we're not as close and don't have as much consistent fun as before. Running was what seemed to bring us all together initially and now I'm crapping out w/ that too. Have a good week then a bad. No consistent schedule anymore. Don't go to track, don't go to long runs. Don't run w/ anyone. I have no consistent schedule w/ anything right now and makes life hard to live.

Just saw a really good friend's daughter for the first time tonight and she turned 2 a couple months ago. Seems retarded it took so long since we've both been here the whole time. Would have liked to see her as an infant. Oh well.

My mom is in Martha's Vineyard this weekend and asked me to come but I couldn't get things to work out w/ Cleo so I'm staying here for the weekend alone. db's in Maine and it didn't work out to be there either. maybe at home alone is where i should be right now anyway. kinda had a crap day.

Posted: Aug 08, 2008 21:19

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Category: /life

robreed wrote at 2008-08-09 11:58:

Seems like you have a lot of stuff to accomplish and also you've been busy so why not stay home? If you want to go to Martha's Vineyard pick a date now so you don't feel like you're going to miss out.

> Maybe I should just hire a maid.

A maid won't organize your apt or your life and that's what you need. I don't imagine that dust is your primary problem. But you're not rich so why would you spend money. So you were going to take off for the entire weekend. Must not have any work to do then, so spend the time cleaning and organizing. You'll have a crappy weekend but make more time later and you'll feel good about it starting Monday.

> So I think life is better right now when I'm getting work done.

Life is always better when you have the basics in hand. You can spend your time thinking about the bigger picture not managing how to make it through tomorrow. Keep it up at work and take advantage of this time, before you're through with this program and on to your next big change, to get everything in order so the next transition goes smoothly, and also the rest of your life.

> Been bad posting if anyone is still listening.

Post anyway, this is primarily for you which is why Facebook and sites like that are so terrible. Long term that site is going to mean absolutely nothing to you. And the people who you interact with on Facebook can only manage to remember one url then who needs them.

> My social life seems lacking compared to what it was the past year. Don't hang out w/ the girls as much as I used to.

That's because your friends are all assholes. The whole bunch of you have you're priorities wrong. Friendship is about more than the things you do together.

> Running was what seemed to bring us all together initially and now I'm crapping out w/ that too. Have a good week then a bad.

So start running again, it's not as if you've forgotten how. Then all your bullshit friends will come back or you'll get new ones. The good news is that running is what you should be doing anyway so the friends are a bonus, bullshit or not.

> No consistent schedule anymore.

Make a schedule and stick to it. Reevaluate once a week or even once a day but stick to it in the interim. Don't change plans.

> Just saw a really good friend's daughter for the first time tonight and she turned 2 a couple months ago. Seems retarded it took so long since we've both been here the whole time.

You were good friends. If you want to be good friends now then you would both have to decide you want to do that and commit to making the effort.

Sounds to me like you've been out of sorts for a while, flopping from one thing to the next. Fix it before it breaks.

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