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Sunday, 01 April 2007

Got me again jackass!

I have this lovely friend that started this crazy trend of 'getting me' on April Fools. Last year he really had me going thinking he went on 'vacation' to this Scientology Church crap and actually joined.

3/28/06 GAJ: Well I am back. I have to admit something. I didn’t go to Europe for work, I was in Florida for 3 weeks on a Scientology retreat. I am now a member. You should really look into it. No pressure. But if you want to learn about it, I’ll be happy to speak to you. It simplifies your life and creates order out of chaos. I am telling you.

Me: are you being serious????!!!!! fess up

GAJ: clearwater florida is where our main church is. It is beautiful. medditerranean revival look and feel to it.

Me: come on baby! tell me the truth. where were you really and why?

GAJ: yes, i am. why? you know how i have been searching for meaning.to be a happier person, well i am on my way. the Church really is good starting point. i see a lot of potential.

Me: i refuse to believe this church stuff. sounds preposterous.

GAJ: believe what you want, i am more mellowed now. i tell you it is like a cleansing rain has overcome me, i feel empowered for once in my life to do what i want to do. as i said, i am great, my head is clear, the retreat was all good. work is fine. need to wash the car this weekend.

I don't have the rest of it where he finally comes clean a few days later. I guess I did fall for it after he kept it up for several days. This is how he got me this year.

3/28/07 GAJ: m is pregnant. she is due in november. i guess it was a honeymoon baby. great just what i f'ing need. now i am fucked.

Me: please, baby's having a baby?! already?! you must have not cared or you would have been more careful. you better go get a job real quick, baby daddy

GAJ: that is why i said i am fucked. literally. what can i do, tell m go have an abortion. i know she is against that if it is a healthy baby. i couldn't sleep at all last night worrying about this shit.

Me: so is she happy about it? does she know you're worried or you were happy when she told you? it's not the end of the world. just makes life a little more difficult

GAJ: she was surprised but happy. no,she doesn't know how i really feel. i pretended to be happy but was really shitting myself. more pissed off than anything. to have this happen. am freakin stupid. i can't even afford a new car let alone a rug rat.

Me: well baby you really shouldn't pretend about this kinda stuff. can't be a good start. so you're just going to have to get happy about it so you're not pretending anymore.

GAJ: thanks. i think its not helpful to pretend to something i am not. how the hell am i supposed to get happy? i have to cool off first.

Me: so what are all the reasons why you aren't happy about it?

GAJ: i am in the fucking dog house. big fucking fight. i told her i wasn't thrilled and suggested adoption or abortion. she flipped her lid. would you? almost grounds for divorce, tears, yelling, screaming, etc.... i am fucked. why not happy? can't booze it up, can't afford it, can't go away on trips, no room, no money, pain in the ass crying, did i mention no money? no room? can't go to dinner and bring out the freakin baby. screaming and yelling. i might smack the kid too. my temper is short. am not a kids person. that is why!

Me: this is smelling like another aprils fools things baby is this for real and DON'T LIE to keep the joke up if it is

GAJ: my marriage is going down the toilet, my wife calls me a baby killer and you are playing games. lovely.

Me: i am not playing game baby. i'm just saying, you've played april fools crap on me before and it's april fools tomorrow so i'm just asking if this is for real

4/1/07 GAJ:APRIL FOOL's!!!!!!

oh you were on to me weren't you! but i had you going though....

it's going to be tough for next year.

i think i might have to start earlier and earlier.

so last year i joined the scientology church this year, i knocked up m and told her to kill the baby. what will happen next year?

Jenn wrote at 2007-04-02 12:18:

Nice. Yeah, you basically can't believe anything he says any time starting in March apparently. I think next year he'll have to have committed murder or something.

Rob Reed wrote at 2007-04-02 15:12:

:)

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