I started singing "I See You Baby, shakin' that ass" to my microfilaria as I tried to count them. There were so many, virutally impossible to count at low power by eye but I tried my best and it drove me a little more insane, and my eyes hurt.

Better go run my 10 miles while I'm not thinking clearly.

but I asked about going on vacation beginning of April and ever since then I've gotten slammed everyday w/ this experiment and that experiment all to be set up before I go on vacation. It's maddening! My big exp. first time point is getting pushed up from May to end of March. I'm also supposed to set up another exp. asap, and some assays asap, and do this presentation and that presentation all by the end of March. Vacation isn't really planned yet, it's kinda up in the air, so we'll see what happens, if I can fit it all in, plus move to my new apt. this month too, and my mom is coming to help and i have races planned on the weekends in March, not much time to get it all done and I don't want to be sleep-deprived either :0(

I've been waiting for this day for quite awhile. I've now been at my postdoc for a year and with that comes a little raise. I only get paid once a month so that sucks but now at least I get an extra ~$200 a month, before taxes. They don't take taxes out of my check so I have to figure them out myself. So it's not a huge raise but I think after another year it'll be even better. It's just a nice feeling to come into work and see for sure that you're making more money. Yeah I get paid tomorrow.

Plus I got called in over the weekend and acquired a case and I get to work it up today since the vets I would normally hand it off to are out.

so I'm doing everything under the sun but study. Why am I such a loser when it comes to studying? I hate it! Though really it's just the class. If it's a mathy class then I'm all for it. Last Fall when I took biostats I was all over it and loved to do the work. I didn't have to study because I did all the other work and it was open book/open note and I ended up w/ over a 100% final grade I think, there was a little bonus. Piece of cake. Now I'm taking molecular bio for grad credit, took it in undergrad around 1998, but it's just one of those bio classes that suck and I hate and don't have an interest and don't want to study. How the hell did I end up w/ a BS in bio if I hate it so much, plus a DVM which was 4 more years of the same crap, I don't fucking know! I'd just rather watch the Tour right now even though I know who wins and I'm exhausted because I stayed up way too late last night doing nothing but eating candy and Coldstone so now I can't stay up late to study. Maybe tomorrow at work will be slow and I can study, though today was slow and I only got in a little studying.

So I'll probably watch the Tour until 11 and then go to bed and hope somewhere I get to study. Good thing no one seems to ask what my grades are in these classes that they (my PI and postdoc program) make me take, though I did get an A in biostats and the bacT class didn't have a grade, so for now my postdoc academic record is fine, until tomorrow I suspect...Plus I can always boycott. Postdocs don't take classes!!!! unless it's for another degree and in my case it isn't!

Been at my postdoc now 10 months, time really flies. Had my second mentor meeting yesterday and things seem to be going just fine. Everyone seems happy with what I'm doing. I'm getting to go to the Primate Center in Southborough for the entire summer June-August, just coming to MIT on Fridays for the research meeting and maybe touching base with one of the summer vet students if they decide to take on my ferret project. I also need to take molecular biology this summer which meets from 6-9p on MW plus I assume labs are in addition. It'll be a very busy summer. So that means since I'll be at the Primate Center all day, and dealing w/ class at night w/ studying for exams and homeworks and labs, I'm not sure when I can find time to still prepare my lectures for the seminar series that will continue without me, I just need to show up on the days I present. Plus with one of our pathologists leaving recently who I was working on the ferret project w/, he was supposed to give a seminar at a research meeting going over all the cases and history etc., but he never did and now it's my job to come up w/ a presentation for that. And there's some other work that I want to get done regarding the ferrets that I won't have time to do since I won't be here that might turn into a summer project for one of the vet students so I'll have to be around in some way for that person. Plus I have to come up w/ a presentation for the talk I'm giving at AALAS in October but I need to work on it now because I'll be in France the last 2 weeks of September, lucky me! I've never left N. America, so I'll need to have it presented to my group and edited per their suggestions and presented again all before I go and all this needs to get done while I'm away at the Primate Center all summer, plus continue all the experiments I'm supposed to be doing to at least get this one paper out on my NTEC E. coli. So much to do, how can I get it all done? I guess I'll really need to work weekends when I'm available and maybe nights, not sure.

I have this lovely friend that started this crazy trend of 'getting me' on April Fools. Last year he really had me going thinking he went on 'vacation' to this Scientology Church crap and actually joined.

3/28/06 GAJ: Well I am back. I have to admit something. I didn’t go to Europe for work, I was in Florida for 3 weeks on a Scientology retreat. I am now a member. You should really look into it. No pressure. But if you want to learn about it, I’ll be happy to speak to you. It simplifies your life and creates order out of chaos. I am telling you.

Me: are you being serious????!!!!! fess up

GAJ: clearwater florida is where our main church is. It is beautiful. medditerranean revival look and feel to it.

Me: come on baby! tell me the truth. where were you really and why?

GAJ: yes, i am. why? you know how i have been searching for meaning.to be a happier person, well i am on my way. the Church really is good starting point. i see a lot of potential.

Me: i refuse to believe this church stuff. sounds preposterous.

GAJ: believe what you want, i am more mellowed now. i tell you it is like a cleansing rain has overcome me, i feel empowered for once in my life to do what i want to do. as i said, i am great, my head is clear, the retreat was all good. work is fine. need to wash the car this weekend.

I don't have the rest of it where he finally comes clean a few days later. I guess I did fall for it after he kept it up for several days. This is how he got me this year.

3/28/07 GAJ: m is pregnant. she is due in november. i guess it was a honeymoon baby. great just what i f'ing need. now i am fucked.

Me: please, baby's having a baby?! already?! you must have not cared or you would have been more careful. you better go get a job real quick, baby daddy

GAJ: that is why i said i am fucked. literally. what can i do, tell m go have an abortion. i know she is against that if it is a healthy baby. i couldn't sleep at all last night worrying about this shit.

Me: so is she happy about it? does she know you're worried or you were happy when she told you? it's not the end of the world. just makes life a little more difficult

GAJ: she was surprised but happy. no,she doesn't know how i really feel. i pretended to be happy but was really shitting myself. more pissed off than anything. to have this happen. am freakin stupid. i can't even afford a new car let alone a rug rat.

Me: well baby you really shouldn't pretend about this kinda stuff. can't be a good start. so you're just going to have to get happy about it so you're not pretending anymore.

GAJ: thanks. i think its not helpful to pretend to something i am not. how the hell am i supposed to get happy? i have to cool off first.

Me: so what are all the reasons why you aren't happy about it?

GAJ: i am in the fucking dog house. big fucking fight. i told her i wasn't thrilled and suggested adoption or abortion. she flipped her lid. would you? almost grounds for divorce, tears, yelling, screaming, etc.... i am fucked. why not happy? can't booze it up, can't afford it, can't go away on trips, no room, no money, pain in the ass crying, did i mention no money? no room? can't go to dinner and bring out the freakin baby. screaming and yelling. i might smack the kid too. my temper is short. am not a kids person. that is why!

Me: this is smelling like another aprils fools things baby is this for real and DON'T LIE to keep the joke up if it is

GAJ: my marriage is going down the toilet, my wife calls me a baby killer and you are playing games. lovely.

Me: i am not playing game baby. i'm just saying, you've played april fools crap on me before and it's april fools tomorrow so i'm just asking if this is for real

4/1/07 GAJ:APRIL FOOL's!!!!!!

oh you were on to me weren't you! but i had you going though....

it's going to be tough for next year.

i think i might have to start earlier and earlier.

so last year i joined the scientology church this year, i knocked up m and told her to kill the baby. what will happen next year?

even if they're silly things. But it happens to me all the time at work because I'm so afraid of looking stupid and/or being wrong.

Yesterday we were in a virology lecture and someone asked what the GB stood for in GB virus and the postdoc speaker wasn't sure and a couple postdocs thought it stood for gibbon but before they said that I thought it was a person's initials it was isolated from and it turns out it was "initials of a person with hepatitis whose serum was used to infect tamarins (J Exp Med 1967. 125:673-687)." If I just would have said something yesterday, even if no one believed me then, I'd get credit today when the speaker had to email and inform everyone that it was someone's initials.